Leaving Sawyer

The thought of leaving Sawyer was so hard for me. I was a mess the first time I left both Johnny and Gavin left but you’d think with Sawyer being my third that I’d be better about it. I get that he’s going to be fine and well taken care of. I also know that he’ll be happy and be even happier upon my return. I also know that I was going to NYC with Sarah and that we were going to be having to much fun.

But the thought of leaving my baby just broke my heart.

The night before I left I was pretty anxious. I tried my best to hold him as often I could and Rounded up every thing I knew would make Sawyer happy at my MIL’s while I was away. The morning I left I tried to get every thing I needed done before he woke up. Once he was up I made sure to Have time to give him some big mommy time. I also made sure to be able to hang with all three boys before my ride came which was really nice too. I managed to cry only about twice.
Pic of all three from that morning on iPad.
When hubby came home my BFF and him made my goodbye really fast which was annoying at the time but honestly the best thing in hindsight. The goodbye was fairly easily and the only tears I shed we’re as a I walked away.

Once there I was a lot  better. I was really busy so I was kept from really putting to much thought into things. Of course the first night I burst into tears at he first baby I saw but quickly composed myself. I pretty much was okay for the remainder of the trip and only had a few moments where I teared up but caught myself. Calling home was hard. The kids fought over who got to talk to me and when Johnny put me on speaker phone and Sawyer heard my voice he started screaming. I made a quick exit on the call and kept the rest of my calls with just J& G.the only time I was a mess was when I opened a text from hubby and saw a pic my husband thought would make me smile.

Right now I am driving home to see him and I can’t wait. Okay I’m sitting in the passenger seat in bumper to bumper traffic on 95 while hubby deals with it all but I’m heading home. I’m still sad without him and have actually teared up while writing this post thinking so much about him but it was worth every minute of being away.

I was able to be on my own, alone, and have fun. I got to do my own thing and I got to do things that I never could have done with kids in tow or not being a blogger. I got to stand on rooftops and talk away with friends until the early hours of morning. I got to meet with people who know me from forums, groups, and from reading my site. I got to laugh.

Getting away was good for me. I don’t do it often and when I see friends at home the kids are always with me. Taking time for ourselves makes us feel guilty but we need to remember that a happy, healthy mom is good for them. Making time for ourselves is a good thing and gives us a chance to just find our bearings or, well, watch some thing other then the Disney Channel.

Comments

  1. Christine Mayfield says

    It is always hard to leave your kids no matter how many you have. My hubby has been gone for almost a year and I am planning a vacation for myself a few months after he is back home. I am so excited at the thought of getting away just to be by myself for a bit. Too often I feel so guilty just wanting a little me time but your right it is good for you and I think it makes me a better Mom.

  2. Aw you did great 🙂 I cried like a baby after I got stuck in NYC and had to stay another night. I did fine until I realized I had to go another day without my kiddos after promising them I’d tuck them into bed that night. It’s hard but you are right, it’s totally a good thing. I’m a better mom for having some ME time!

  3. I can’t imagine leaving my baby for the first time-I probably would be just as frazzled as you were! But I’m a firm believer that taking time for yourself is very important and I’m glad you went forward with it! Looking back on everything, you realize it was worth it.

    The good news is you had a wonderful time, got to meet new people and do new things, and now you’re able to go back to your babies 🙂

  4. I was fortunate that I stayed home with my baby’s babies! hehe What fun we had! The youngest was my bundle of joy and my granddaughter stayed by my side the whole time I was there and we even made jello together and she helped me watch the boys, but let me tell you. It was my youngest grandson that usually has the melt down it was my daughter trying to leave her babies. OH I wish I had my camera when I saw her face! OMG She was having the melt down NOT the baby boy. He only started after she started! So the truth comes out! So hugs to my baby and pushed her out the door & said go have fun for pity sakes and have some ME time. LOL Was I like that when my babies were little??? HELL YES! Every time I went to work I’d be sad on that drive all the way in.

  5. Sarah Osborne says

    It is SO hard leaving babies!! The few times I had to leave mine I worried the entire time that something was going to happen to her.

  6. While it was hard being away I’m glad I got some ME time too. I’m also glad I got to spend some time with you. By mid saturday I was just ready to leave and I’m glad I made my exit when I did.

    I just loved that your hubby sent that picture of Sawyer!!

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