Mommy, Where Exactly Does the Baby Come Out?

Recently, I experienced a close call that touched both of those.
Saturday night I was driving up to my father’s house because hubby & I had that Jack & Jill I told you about to go to and the boys were spending the night out. Well, I don’t remember the conversation that led up to it but I know it ended with…”well I made you that’s why!”

Now, seeing that I have an 8 year old boy I need to start realizing that these kind of statements actually get the brain reeling and the rest of the conversation went like this:

Johnny: You didn’t make me alone, Dad helped!

Mommy: Hardly, I was the one to carry you for nine months and then push you out!

J: (pauses) you pushed me out? How did Gavin come out?

M: They cut me open and took him out.

J: Why wasn’t I cut out?

M: Because your brother was a trouble maker from the start.

J: Oh, so you were punished.

M: I guess you could put it that way.

J: I was a good baby then because you just had to push me out.

M: I guess so, but your brother was a good baby too

(long pause, I think conversation is over)

J: So where did you push me out from?

M: (squirms) Um, from my belly?

J: So I came out your belly button?

M: Not exactly.

J: Did you push me out your bum?

M: Of course not.

J: Then where? Do you have other holes?

M: Johnny! That is just about enough! Stop asking so many questions!
(obviously I’m completely taken off guard and uncomfortable where this has gone)

J: saarreee (sorry!) I was just asking (all snotty)

M: Sorry, I don’t mean to snap at you but this is a conversation we’ll have in a couple years. You don’t need to know this stuff now. Okay?

J: Okay.

(I smile in my rear view mirror at him, he smiles back)

a few minutes later….

J: How exactly did daddy help?

I pretend I don’t hear him and turn up the radio.

___________________________

OMGawd! Are you serious! I know my baby is growing up but I had no clue what to tell him I was so taken off guard. Granted when I got home I had a laugh with hubby about it. He says I should have went with the belly button theory…I didn’t want to lie.